Tomorrow is Labor Day, which means that (if you live in the US), in pretty much every town, there’s a parade. Some of the parades are good, although we have to admit it — watching people march or sing or dance down the street doesn’t do all that much for us. Maybe it’s because we’re snobs who live in New York and we get spoiled by the Village Halloween Parade or Mardi Gras in New Orleans, both of which are more party than parade. Or maybe it’s because we rarely know the people marching in the parades, and so we’re just waving at strangers. Whatever the reason, we’ve come up with a number of defensive strategies for when we inevitably are invited to “parties” where we watch the parade from the street.
First, there’s always booze. Thankfully, we’ve never been invited to a parade event hosted by teetotalers. If we had… well, we don’t have many of those as friends.
Second, there’s the, “where’s the bathroom?” Since the bathroom is always a very long walk away (and it’s usually a port-a-potty), it gives us ample time to explore fields and streams that are unpopulated because everyone is watching the parade.
Third, we’ve got our fall back of shouting “HI! HI! OVER HERE!” at all people in the parade (when we were younger, we would also throw stuff, but that’s immature). Ever seen a five to ten-person pile up? You’ll see it if you shout this often enough, because someone in the parade will get confused and stop to say hi to you. Alright, this is a bit cruel, but it’s still fun (as long as no one gets hurt).
Finally, fourth, gorge on hot dogs. It’s the end of the summer, after all, and there are bound to be lots of dogs lying around. Because, when it’s all said and done, you may as well being outside on one of the last nice, long days of the year!
That’s it for today. Happy exploring!